DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband for seven years, and I’m uninterested in having the identical combat every single day. He smokes marijuana, and I hate it. It has been a continuing battle for years. We tried remedy, which helped for some time, however he goes again to smoking behind my again. We tried to achieve a compromise that he smoke solely after a sure time of day, but it surely nonetheless results in fights.
He shuts me out when he’s doing medication and says I don’t care about his happiness as a result of it’s one thing he enjoys, that I’m taking it away. I like him a lot, however I hate medication and don’t like who he turns into when he’s smoking.
I wish to have a child, however I’m uncomfortable with medication being in the home. I really feel like I can’t belief him to be alone with a child when he’s excessive. I don’t wish to depart him, however I can’t take it anymore. Having the identical combat every single day is exhausting, and it’s had a extremely adverse impression on our marriage. I need him to decide on me over this, but when I give him an ultimatum, he’ll hate me. What do I do? — ANTI-DRUG IN ILLINOIS
DEAR ANTI-DRUG: Give your husband that ultimatum and pack your baggage. If you like the daddy of your little one not have a marijuana behavior and he can not stop, then, as a lot as you might love him, this particular person isn’t The One for you. Sorry.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve learn your column for years, often taking recommendation you present to others and making use of it to my circumstances. I’ve developed a mutual bond with a girl who’s 30 — 28 years youthful than myself. She’s a waitress at a diner I frequent. I’ve seen her youngsters develop over the previous six or seven years. We have had many significant conversations and shared our highs and lows. She’s naturally pleasant.
Three or 4 years in the past, she started sharing informal facet hugs after I arrived. I by no means ask for them. Over the final yr, these hugs have turn into extra intimate, not in a sexual manner — only a deeper bond of friendship. We often prompt message when she’s off work, however I don’t see her socially.
Lately, she has been teasing that she’ll be my subsequent ex. I reciprocate the flirting and teasing. I consider there’s a mutual attraction. If not for the age distinction, which I’m OK with, or the concern of inflicting points with our friendship, I’d ask her out. Societal taboos weigh closely on my thoughts, and I’m pragmatic. Should I or shouldn’t I? Or am I studying an excessive amount of into our friendship? — UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR UNSURE: Not having witnessed the chemistry between the 2 of you, I couldn’t say. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. The subsequent time you see her, after a kind of “extra intimate” hugs, inform her teasingly that you’ve got been enthusiastic about her remark that she’ll be your subsequent ex and ask if she’d wish to have dinner with you someday. Her response will inform you you probably have been studying an excessive amount of into the friendship.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.