Kristin Cavallari finally broke the silence on her “painful” divorce from Jay Cutler.

During the latest episode of her Let’s Be Honest podcast, the 39-year-old TV personality said that until she split from the NFL star, she hadn’t learned “to love the hard times too.”

“There is beauty in pain and we need the dark to appreciate the light,” Kristin said of her high-profile divorce. “For so many years, as long as I could remember, I didn’t wanna feel anything.”

“I wanted to push everything away. I was like, ‘I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m the tough girl,'” she continued. “I was fine, I didn’t know how to ask for help, I couldn’t be vulnerable.”

“I was like, ‘You know what? This is the first time in my life I wanna feel it all,” recalled the Hills alum. “I wanna experience it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, I wanna feel the pain. I wanna sit in it. I don’t wanna rush or run from it.’”

The reality star added, “Thank God I did, because that was where the majority of my growth and life came from. The pain, and the hurt, and the suffering is there to teach us something — that’s where we learn and we grow.” 

For those unversed, Kristin parted ways with Jay in April 2020, after seven years of marriage. The former couple shares three children – Camden, Jaxon, and Saylor.